absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
