why didn't you poke me back
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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