You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
