Girls should come with a carfax report
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
