wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
