My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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