Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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