just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
