Do you still have your period?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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