First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
