After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
