after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Randomize
