the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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