I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
