who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
