She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
