saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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