I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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