I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
