So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
