For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
