Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
