Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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