He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
