You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
