I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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