Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
