I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
