If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
