swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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