also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think people are normalizing furries
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
