so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I love you.
Bad choice
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