Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
