Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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