Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize