getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
