I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
