Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
