everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
