I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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