I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Randomize
