Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
do nipples grow back?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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