I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize