he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We named our party play list daddy issues
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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