If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Randomize
