Are we in a gay sports bar?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
