New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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