how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
