I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
