were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
