I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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