I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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