when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
