He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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