I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
