Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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