Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
