why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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