Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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