He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize