I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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