i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
