sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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