I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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