Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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