fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
