Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
