I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
