Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
