3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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