a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
