he referred to my room as the tit cave...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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