No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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