her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
