K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
