Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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