we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
