how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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