He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize