Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
