I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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