am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
